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I’m going to make the bold assumption that in the school yard, we’ve all had experience with school yard bullies or been the school yard bully.

Bullying comes in many forms, not just the physical giving of ‘the bash’ around the back of the classrooms, but in other forms too. This 2nd form of emotional bullying is mostly done by girls. Its the exclusion, the put downs, the ignoring, spreading of rumours and gossip. I speak from experience that this kind of bullying leaves deep mental scars which sometimes takes years to heal.

I read today a friends tweet about how her son had been hit 5 times in class, in front of a teacher, by another student and she still had to go down to the high school and demand some kind of action. Its unfair when no action can be taken against the bully and the victim is the one who has to leave their familiar surrounds because the school cannot guarantee the students personal safety. I speak from experience on that one. It’s hard to change schools and settle in when you have bursary exams ahead of you.

(I never finished school by the way, about 10 weeks into my 7th form year, at my new school, I got too sick to attend class and had to leave)

I regret what happened because I missed out on so much of the school experience everyone else got to have, but, these days, I am stronger for what happened. I can see the bad personalities a mile away and give them a wide berth or if these kind of people do make their way into my life – I am stronger and know how to deal with issues better. Besides, I hope we’ve all grown up and changed anyway.

12 years since leaving high school, I’ve buried the hatchet against those that wronged me, and those that I did wrong to. I admit I wasn’t completely guilt free and some things I am not proud of. But let that hatchet RIP.

Until schools and teachers buck up their ideas and hold school bullies and their parents accountable for whats going on instead of re-vicitimising the victim, this cycle isn’t going to end anytime soon. I wish my friend the best in dealing with the problem and hope her son will one day bury the hatchet against those who have done him wrong.

EDIT: while it seems that victims have more to overcome, work harder etc while the bully just rolls with life, my message to victims is to roll with life too. If you’re still being dragged down by whatever happened for ‘x’ number of years, then the bully is still winning. Life is too short to dwell on the negative, turn your experience into a positive and in the process, make yourself a better person on the inside than they will ever be.